Updated: Jul 17, 2020
So about a year ago I wrote a song called "Queen of Spades," but even though I heard the melody in my head at the time I wrote it, I couldn't hear the rest of the music. Well, I woke up this morning with the intention of taking a short break from writing by working on a sewing project, but instead, music happened. I went downstairs to get my sewing machine and pick out some fabric...yet then I saw my keyboard languishing in a forgotten corner and then the next thing I know, I'm six hours into recording and my husband is calling to let me know he's on his way home. The song turned out a lot better than I would have though possible if you'd asked me how my musical skills were holding up yesterday. I also didn't intend to write a blog post two days in a row, but here we are.
The tone of the lyrics and music seem a bit incongruent to me, but this song could not have been composed any other way. The lyrics remain rather...intense. The song explores the way our concept of deity evolves over the millennia as civilizations rise and fall and our understanding of the universe expands and contracts. It is written from the perspective of a primordial goddess of death, hence all the "I am" statements, that for obvious reasons, do not describe me. I am not a spider. Probably my favorite lines from this song are toward the end of the second chorus: "I am the void / I am the pause between breaths / I am the cold of the trigger pulling back again." So yes, the lyrics are a bit intense.
The music itself, however, is super upbeat and borderline pop, which if you know my own taste in music is rather unlike me. I tend toward the indie and folksie, and definitely not anywhere near the pop arena, but again...here we are. In many ways this song is a contradiction, and it appears to even contradict my usual sound.
Sometimes art turns out differently than the artist expected it to, and that's ok.
To listen: https://soundcloud.com/maimurray/queen-of-spades